First of all, I need to set a few parameters under which I write on this blog. It’s very personal, and I do not expect (and I have reliable statistics to back me up) to have some great numbers of readers. Except for to my family and very closest friends, I haven’t really promoted the site. I’m using analytics to make sure that it stays personal, and should I get a bunch of readers, I expect my way of writing would change. Should one or more of my contacts with which I work with visit this blog, please be assured that I do absolutely everything that I can do to perform at my maximum potential each and every single day. You may understand that this is a high standard I’m setting when you read on.

I’ve been introduced to the possibility that I may be a part of what’s known today as the autism spectrum. Among other diagnoses, Asperger’s syndrome is one of them. This came to me as a shock – but a positive one. Finally I have some kind of explanation to why I always overthink and analyse everything in my life. Why I’m prone to inductive or deductive reasoning above instinctual observations. Why I’m terrified when I get a phone call, but feel at ease when I get a text. The list does most definitely go on, but I understand that there’s absolutely no meaning of me just comparing symptoms for a couple of pages (I’ve got an Excel-sheet for that). Bear in mind that I haven’t gotten a diagnosis – just a professional point of view.

Needless to say, there’s a lot going on in my mind at the moment.

There’s more like a feeling of relief than shame in my current state of mind. Now I know exactly where my problems lie, and in which sectors I need to focus to improve myself. With this in mind, I’ve accepted a participation in an exhibition. I’ll present photomicrographs at a hospital. I see this as a major step forward for me, and it bears the possibility of personal growth.

Two things have been buzzing around in my mind the last couple of days. One: the oral presentation and revealing of the photos. Two: pricing. The first is, I understand, only a personal problem for me. I’ll need to create a character as which I’m to “perform”. A small task, but a daunting one to me. When it comes to pricing, I feel that I must make the prices reasonable, but still with the work, time and equipment I’ve used in mind. The microscope is expensive, as is the software which I use to process the photos. It’s a whole lot of images, individually adjusted, cared for and augmented to create one single photomicrograph. This process claims a whole lot of my free time. And that’s just it – it’s a hobby. I’m just intent of viewing the unseen and trying to present it to others in a manner so that everyone can understand. Child and adult the same. Interested in biology or not.

Did I mention that today was my last day at work before my vacation? More to come on that subject. For now, that’s it. Evenin’.

Today’s photo: Muscari botryoides [Pärlhyacint]